


Well-intentioned Nakedness

by inksheddings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, MWPP Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1353025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inksheddings/pseuds/inksheddings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius wants to give Remus what he most desires, but do either of them really understand what that is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well-intentioned Nakedness

** Well-Intentioned Nakedness **  
_(nakedness: devoid of concealment or disguise)_

 

It had been a brilliant plan. Sirius was sure of it. Cocksure. He bloody well knew a good plan when he thought one up, and therefore, this had been a masterpiece.

All the signs had been there. He knew this because he’d put them on a list.

_1.) Remus wanted to do it._ He’d been the one to present Sirius, blushing ever so slightly, with that very first specialized wank magazine. A short perusal of those fit men buggering each other senseless had led to some specialized wank of their very own.

_2.) Remus was amazingly aggressive in bed._ He gripped Sirius hard enough to leave bruises -- no, not _there_ , but still! And not only was he physically aggressive, but verbally. _“Right there ... harder ... no, not like that ... yes, that’s it ...”_ It made Sirius hard just thinking about it.

_3.) Sirius was ready and willing._ Sure, the idea of a cock up his arse had taken some getting used to, but by the time they’d thoroughly memorized every page and position of the third specialized wank magazine, Sirius was more than ready. It would, after all, be Remus’ cock. And the look on Remus’ face -- that was enough to convince him it would be bloody fantastic. If a bit awkward and possibly painful.

_4.) Most importantly, Sirius loved Remus, and Remus loved him._ And this was what two blokes in love did. Right?

Okay, so it was a rather short list, but it was an excellent and sensible list.

And yet ...

Every time Sirius attempted to bring it up, (his first broaching of the subject had gone something like, _“So, Moony, when are you finally going to pound me into the mattress?”_ ) Remus avoided the subject like a blast-ended skrewt with indigestion. It was frustrating and, unlike his list, nonsensical. Remus wanted this, and Sirius wanted to give it to him.

That’s when he’d come up with his brilliant plan. Which had turned out to be not so terribly brilliant, or he wouldn’t be standing starkers in the middle of their dormitory room with a fully-clothed Remus having a shouting match.

Remus would barely look at him, which had never been a problem before \-- especially when they were naked. His skin was tinged pink, and Sirius could not determine if he was embarrassed or angry or both.

Sirius was confused, not understanding what had been so disagreeable about finding James and Peter conveniently gone for the day, Sirius naked, on top of the bed and already hard, the magazine and the surreptitiously acquired lube at the ready.

He was embarrassed, because apparently he had completely misjudged Remus’ desires, and Sirius had prided himself on being quite the apt pupil in regards to those desires. Being the only one naked in the room did nothing to improve things, either.

Worst of all, he was frightened. He did love Remus. Granted, he’d never said the words, neither had Remus. But Sirius had nearly destroyed their friendship not so terribly long ago, and he could not possibly imagine that Remus would allow him the intimacy they’d shared if he didn’t love him back. But what if he’d been wrong ...

Starkers, confused, embarrassed. And frightened.

Hence, the shouting.

“Sirius, you just can’t ... you can’t spring this on me like that! Anyone could have walked in and found you ... like that!”

“Spring this on you? What the fuck do you ... And you ...  D'you think I'm stupid? That wouldn't have happened, no one else would've gotten in. I charmed the door to only open for you. No one else.”

“What about Dumbledore? You think he wouldn’t have been able to open it?” Remus asked, incredulity on his face and in this posture.

“Dumbledore?” Sirius laughter had a hysterical edge to it. “Well, I suppose you’re right, as usual, Remus. Dumbledore surely could get through the door, but if he could do that he could probably figure out beforehand that I was naked and hard on the bed and why the fuck would he want to come in if he knew that?”

Remus stared at him for a moment, before declaring, “You’re not making any sense, Sirius.”

“ _I’m_ not making sense?” Sirius’ entire body had shaken when he’d yelled, and he only became angrier as he’d felt a certain part of his anatomy bounce comically against his inner thigh. He considered putting some clothing on, even if only his shorts, but decided that staying naked may actually give him an advantage because Remus, for all of his barely looking, did occasionally look and his eyes would then inevitably wander _there_.

“You want to talk sense? Fine. Let’s talk sense.”

Sirius took a predatory step forward, not caring what reaction this aroused in Remus -- confusion, embarrassment. Fright. Just as long as he got a reaction.

“Tell me Remus, what makes sense about the things we already do? Two blokes -- mates -- shoving their cocks together, sucking each other off, sticking fingers up each others’ arse?”

Remus was blushing furiously now, and a quick glance downward told Sirius it wasn’t all due to anger. He smiled menacingly and took another step forward. To his credit, Remus didn’t back away.

“You brought me the magazines, Remus. You showed me the pictures, very specific pictures, Remus. You showed me how hard they made you and you took full advantage of how hard they made _me_. Why would you do that, Remus, unless you wanted to fuck me? Why would you tease me with the idea and then ... and then ..."

Sirius was practically on top of Remus now, and Remus still wasn’t meeting his eyes. The fear that had been a part of this afternoon’s emotional smorgasbord was now overriding everything else, and his heart went cold.

“Unless ... unless you never ... don’t you want me, Remus? Are you still ... still angry? I thought you’d forgiven me, but ...” Sirius could hear his voice sounding so needy, so stupidly immature, but he couldn’t help it.  His eyes drifted away as a horrible thought began to take hold. Maybe Remus didn’t love him, maybe ...

“Sirius, no! That’s not it.”

And suddenly Remus had taken a step closer, so that now their bodies were practically touching. Then they were touching as Sirius felt Remus’ hand gripping his arm, and he looked at him and now Remus was meeting his eyes, and he saw a fear that mirrored his own.

Sirius, placing a hand on the back of Remus’ head, pulled him close so that their foreheads were touching.

“Then what is it?” he pleaded.

“Sirius, I forgave you. After everything, I can’t believe you thought ... Honestly. Do you think I would let you stick your tongue in such questionable places if I hadn’t?”

Sirius laughed quietly, feeling a little of the tension ease out of his body. But just a little.

“I do want to ... you know ... like the magazines, but you misunderstood, and I was afraid to tell you that. I didn’t want you to ... to ... be disappointed, or disgusted, or ...”

“Disgusted? Remus. We’re poofs. A coupla shirt-lifters. Most of the world already thinks we’re disgusting, we don’t need to agree with them, you know.”

“I know, I just ...” now Remus broke eye contact, but Sirius was not about to have that.

“Remus, look at me. I’m standing naked in our room. You’ve rejected my advances. And, as you so disturbingly pointed out earlier, Dumbledore could walk in on us at any moment. If I’m not mortified enough to bother with clothing at this point the least you could do is look at me.”

That didn’t earn him a smile, but Remus did look at him, and he looked miserable.

“Remus, for Merlin’s sake, would you just _tell_ me ...”

“It was supposed to be me on the bed.”

Sirius blinked.

“It was supposed to be me spread out and ready for you to ... to ... I wanted you to fuck me into the mattress but you misunderstood, and then I couldn’t bring myself to explain and, Sirius, I’m so so sorry I made you think that I didn’t want you, that I didn’t trust you ...”

Remus kept looking straight at him, but Sirius could tell that this was a difficult confession he was making, and that he wanted to look away. Sirius didn’t want to lose the connection, however, so he compromised by pulling Remus into his arms and hugging him tightly.

“You’re daft. I’m daft. We’re daft and dafter and we should both be tops because we keep topping each other’s daftness. Remus ...”

Remus was shaking and Sirius released him slightly, unsure whether he was crying, and if he was he didn’t know if he should hug him again or tell him to stop being such a girl but he knew he should do something ... but Remus wasn’t crying, just laughing silently.

“You’re right, Sirius. We are daft.”

And Remus kept laughing, but he looked lost and a little sad, so Sirius pulled him over to the bed and they climbed up, leaning against the head board and each other. They sat like that for a while, and Sirius was glad for the quiet, as he tried to figure out what had just happened and what it meant for them.

“You ... you really thought that I didn’t trust you? That I was just playing with you?” Remus broke the silence, and Sirius could hear the hurt in his voice.

He shrugged, jostling Remus in the process.

“I wasn’t sure. I just knew that you’d dropped an awful lot of hints about what you wanted but backed off when I tried to give it to you. I mean, I didn’t know that you wanted ... and why the hell did you think I’d be disgusted or disappointed? Bloody hell, Remus, you _don’t_ trust me if you thought that would make me unhappy. You make me happy. I want ... that. For us to be happy. I don’t really care who buggers who, or if we bugger each other at all.”

He could feel Remus’ body start to pull away slightly, so he tightened his grip and pulled him closer. Remus tensed for a moment, but then relaxed. Message received.

“You’re right. I should have just told you. I guess I didn’t trust you enough, or myself. But it’s not because of what happened last term, Sirius, I promise you. I just ... couldn’t. I couldn’t. Don’t know exactly why.”

Sirius took a deep breath and exhaled shakily, wishing he could start this day over. And leave his clothes on.

“Remus. Neither of us completely trusts the other. “

There was a dreadful period of silence before Remus buried his face in his neck, and Sirius felt more than heard his reply.

“I know.”

Sirius planted a kiss on the top of his head.

“I guess there shall be no buggering whatsoever, then.”

“No,” Remus agreed, turning his head and resting it on Sirius’ shoulder. “Not yet, at least. I mean, that’s best right? If we haven’t been able to, you know, really tell each other ... things ... then ...”

_Love, trust, understanding, faith ..._

“Then it’s best we wait,” Sirius finished for him. “But ...”

“But what?”

“Does that mean I should put some clothes on now?”

Sirius felt Remus begin to laugh, then he heard it, and when Remus looked up at him there was a true, broad smile there, and that gave Sirius hope. Hope that someday he could tell Remus that he loved him, and Remus could say the same. But they had some issues to work out first. Like the appropriate times for nakedness.

“Only if you want to, Sirius. Honestly, I’m not complaining,” he replied, running his fingers over Sirius’ chest, and down lower, playing with the hairs that were lightly sprinkled over his belly.

“Remus, I’m feeling at a definite disadvantage here, mate.”

“Take my clothes off and we’ll be evenly matched.”

It was tempting to do just that, but Sirius could feel some of his earlier uncertainty returning and ...

“Maybe we could just stay like this for now,” Remus said, letting him off the hook and understanding.

Sirius curled into him, hooking a leg over Remus’ hips, wanting to be as close as possible -- and not just physically, but he wasn’t sure how else to express the feelings that his friend stirred up in him -- and held on tight.

“For now,” Sirius agreed.

“For now.”  
 ****

****  
END


End file.
